This might be a complete shock to some of you but Brown Kids are notorious for fighting sleep despite extreme exhaustion. I had complete confidence that Abbie and Paul could beat any child’s ability to dodge sleep till Luke became a toddler. That kid could be falling asleep while standing up and he will still resist rest at all costs.
This afternoon I could tell by the darkening circles under Luke’s eyes that if another day went by without adequate sleep it would be physically harmful to him. On days when I know he’s beyond exhausted and refuses to respond to his body’s desperate need to rest I hold him till he sleeps. He resists this embrace at all costs knowing that if he’d just lean in and enjoy this time together he would be asleep in a matter of seconds. Instead he screams and wails and punches and kicks. The more he flails around, the closer I draw him next me. This afternoon as Luke shouted “I don’t like it” I couldn’t help but see my relationship with God.
Sometimes God will draw me to situations I do not like. I wrestle, scream and kick. I don’t see how my circumstances could possibly lead to anything good. In the midst of all the fighting and angst God draws me closer to Him. Caught in His loving embrace I continue to squirm and push back. It never stops God from drawing me even closer no matter how hard I kick. God loves me enough to be in the fight with me. It does not phase Him or change His love or His desire to be with me. God doesn’t need me to trust Him. One day as I continue to grow and mature like Luke, I’ll learn to sit back and just enjoy the embrace and trust that God is working out something good.