We find ourselves asking that question a lot in BrownTown. Things don’t always go as planned. In fact, most of the time they don’t. As a family of six it’s difficult to plan anything and execute that plan as you originally intended. Maybe that’s why Desi and I are able to handle the chaos of our big family. Neither of us are Type A folks and we both tend to roll with whatever comes and adjust as we go along. So, when we get everyone loaded up in the van, get ready to go and then find out that two of the kids need to go potty, we’re not excited, but we can deal with it. This ability to adjust on the fly makes the big family thing work.
However, this latest pregnancy is a greater test than the “van to the bathroom” scenario above. We were getting so excited about the plan – climb our way up the waiting list, get our referral, write some big checks, go get our son in Ethiopia. That was the plan. We want it to still be the plan. But in all likelihood it isn’t. Are we upset? Yes. Are we happy? Yes. We’re both. And that’s an uneasy sort of place to be.
When I look at kid number four, Joshua, I can’t help but be excited about this pregnancy. If you remember, the same thing happened with him. We were planning our adoption and then got pregnant. (Yes we know how the pregnancy thing happens. Thanks!) We were kind of upset then, too. But look at the result. What an amazing little guy he is. Watching his little personality develop and seeing him interact with his brothers and sister, we can’t be anything but absolutely ecstatic that he’s part of our family – and I’m sure it will be the same with baby number five. But at the same time, we can’t bring home baby number six anytime soon and that makes us sad.
So then, what does all this mean? Are we going to continue with the adoption? We’re answering that question with a cautious “yes.” We’re hoping that our agency will let us continue to move forward on the wait list so that when baby number five is old enough we can proceed with the adoption. That’s what we’re hoping for. But that will mean a policy change for them, so we’re not sure yet. We’ll find out after we let them know about the pregnancy (We’re waiting until we get through the first trimester to let them know. ) So, it’ll be a while until we’ll know what will happen with the adoption. In the meantime, we’re going to do the normal stuff you do when you’re pregnant, which is pretty much the normal stuff you do when you’re not pregnant with a few differences.
If you’re so inclined, we’d love to have you ask God for good health for Desi and the baby as well as for wisdom for us. We want to make good decisions about the adoption and we believe that if we ask for wisdom, God will grant it.
Thanks for reading. You’re all super-important and we’re so honored that you want to keep up with us on this blog. We’ve been blessed with amazing friends. Thanks!